The only way out is through...with the help of an angel or fifty

Last three-chemical chemo today. Yay!

To be honest, today was a hard day. Big things, little things, physical things, a few worries, and then I just plain didn't really know why, but suffice it to say I was a little bluesy and teary. I really hate to mention it because I don't like people to feel bad. Everyone has these days, after all. But I did want to mention it because of the beautiful grace I believe I was shown today. It's so not fair to keep it a secret!

First, I was in line at the pharmacy to get my three day anti nausea drug. There were several people in the small pharmacy, and I heard the door open and close an out of my peripheral vision I saw someone new come in. She sat down in a chair to wait and said, "How's it going, girl?" Real perky like that. I assumed she knew someone in the room. But...something made me glance her way and she was looking at me. Sweet little happy white-haired lady with several missing teeth. Sparkly eyes. I said I was "doin' pretty good" and asked after her. Apparently she's been battling cancer five years and is about to come out on the other side.

She gave me this keen look, like she could see into me and said, "God Bless you." I felt like it was God himself saying, "I'm here." I blessed her right back. When I left, we said goodbye and she said to me, "You be happy." Not like a perky wish. More like a kindly stated order.

Naturally I met Rich on the bench outside and cried a little. Poor Richie. I promise you this doesn't happen every day or even very often. So then I wiped my eyes and we went up to chemo. Richie went down to the car for my blanket. A waiting room full of people and there was this chipper red haired lady joking around with the office girls about having a Roto-Rooter. (Don't ask!)

I was sitting across the room. She wheeled her little briefcase over to me and said in a soft voice she hadn't been using earlier (:-)) "You're too young to be here." She asked me if she could pray for me and asked my name. She told me that her pastor had recently advised his flock to "cast their worries on Jesus." She said to cast 'em like the garbage men throw the bags of garbage on their trucks. It made me smile. Once again, I felt God's presence telling me to let these certain worries go. Big things I can't do anything about anyway but that keep me up at night. People in need, some of them very close to me, and animals and oil spills, and the fear I may leave my wonderful husband behind sooner than later...but I digress. Naturally I spilled a few more tears. She hugged me and said it was ok. "Sometimes when people speak a kindness over you it brings our feelings to the surface." Yep. Especially when they're just tucked under a scrap of tissue paper! Incidentally, she has stage four ovarian cancer and metatastic breast cancer. And she was drawn to me to comfort me! Awesome.

Then the lady who finished her chemo treatment several minutes before me walked over to me and touched my leg before she left. We hadn't spoken at all. I hadn't even seen her face. She'd been laid out and asleep most of the time and I had heard something about her having low blood pressure and having to wait for her chemo. She looked me right in the eye and smiled the sweetest smile and said, "Good luck with whatever you're going through." Again I felt His presence. Richard said after she left, "Oh, did you two have a nice chat?" I said no and just shook my head.

So the funnest God-speak came on the ride home. I'm on a country music kick just now. (And am just dumbfounded that the guy who sounds just like the lead singer from Hootie and the Blowfish they're playing on the radio so much really IS him!!) Anyway, after Darius's song went off, an up-beat little blue grass/pop country song came on. I grinned and said, "I like this song."

Richard and I listened for a minute. Maybe some of you know the refrain. I especially liked the regular lyrics part about angels on the street, lending you a hand like what happened to me today. Like My Goldie's Angels. Like my family--husband, daughter, mom, sisters, brother-in-law, sister-in-law, mother-in-law, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Nieces and Nephews. My WP Dawgs! Like so many of my friends including my oldest friends who've reached out to me recently. And, well I know it, (even if I sound nuts) the ladies at the hospital today. :-)

If your going through hell

Keep on going, don't slow down
If you're scared don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

...But the good news Is

there's angels everywhere

out on the street

Holding out a hand

to pull you back up on your feet...

Guess what I'm saying

If you're going through hell
Keep on moving, face that fire
Walk right through it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

Richie's eyes got suspiciously moist beneath his Oakleys. He didn't say anything, just reached over and turned the radio up.

Love to all! & Goodnight.